chesterh.com

“Are you checked in?” I asked.

“Yes,” said Pat, waiving her ticket book and welcome-aboard folder. “I didn’t have any problem.”

“Good. Kris is right over there,” I said. “Why don’t you keep her company while we get this straightened out?”

“OK, good luck,” said Pat, and she wandered off.

I opened my portfolio to the mother’s section, and extracted the entire transaction record for their booking. My mother finally noticed that I was there. “Sheesh, Chester. Nobody had trouble but me?” she asked.…

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“Never mind mom,” said Kris. “Where’s the ship?”

Pat came to my rescue. “Your mother is here – she just went to the little girl’s room.”

“Wait ‘til you hear her story,” said Kris.

“Isn’t it just unbelievable?” added Pat.

I was certain I’d hear all about it in due time (or is that “do time”?), so I didn’t press…

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Somehow, her answer did not make me feel the least bit better. I did some quick calculations in my head. “Well, if it turns out that there is no bus, I’ll need to know about it no later that 9:00 a.m. on Saturday. That is the latest I could leave here, get down to pick you up and still make it to the dock before they leave without us.”
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After we hung up, I returned to the keyboard. My mood must have been transmitted through the keys, as HAL became docile and cooperative. The kayak tour in Halifax that Kris wanted was sold out, so I waitlisted her and booked the two of us on the Titanic museum tour. By bedtime, the mothers were confirmed for Peggy’s cove, and three of us were destined for the Bell museum in Sydney. Too tired to continue, I saved Bar Harbor for day three.

I spent the following morning searching for an independent operator who could replicate the limo & lunch tour…

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HAL – Holland America Lines…

It all started innocently enough. The computer wanted to know our names and booking number, and I willingly complied.

HAL: Welcome, Kristine. Would you like to experience the convenience of booking excursions for another party at the same time as you book your own?
Me: It’s Richard (my real name) here, but yes, I think it would be very handy to book everyone at the same time. Thanks for offering…
HAL: Very good, madam. Please enter the name and booking number of the first additional

…

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“They just announced that the shore excursions are available for booking,” I said. “I think we should act fast.”

“Well what are the options?” Kris asked.

“The standard HAL excursions,” I said.

“What are they?”

“You never looked at the list?”

“No. Was I supposed to?”

“I suggested it a long time ago.”

“Well, I didn’t look. Tell me what they have.”

Oh, boy… I got my telephone headset and plugged it in. “Still there?” I asked.

“Yeah. Go ahead.”

Over the next hour, I read and re-read the available excursions. For Kris, only one excursion stood out – a…

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Nothing. Nada. Zilch. It was a little disheartening. Although more and more people were finally posting to the forum with questions, I couldn’t get more than a couple to sign up on the roll call. I’d post comprehensive answers to various questions posed elsewhere, drop hints about the roll call, and watch as no one signed up. This got a little boring after a while.

I decided to spend the month of June on something slightly less futile, and cut back on time spent on the cruise forums. For almost three years, I’d held on to the idea of turning…

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“…the ambulance came and the police came and your mother went to the hospital with them and I locked up the house and made sure the cat was in and that he had food and water and…”

“Okay,” I said. “Slow down. Let’s take it from the top.”

There wasn’t a lot of information available that hadn’t come out in the initial torrent, so I thanked Pat and hung up. I knew dad didn’t sound well on the phone – I guess this is one area where the telephone trumps email in communicative ability. I called my parents’ house…

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I wasn’t about to broach the subject of cruising with my own mother until the holiday season was well past – there are some things a son just knows not to do. But I couldn’t just sit around and think about the upcoming cruise, and being a devout CruiseCritic, I followed my natural tendency to go out on the Internet, find fellow cruisers and start talking up the trip.

I imagined that the large majority of those who jumped at the chance to go on this trip were probably first-time cruisers, and indeed, this proved to be the case.…

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I think Kris was momentarily taken aback. “Well, my mother probably would – but your mother? I doubt it. I don’t think my mother would want to be all alone in a room, though.”

“Our cabin can sleep four,” I said, mainly for effect. It worked.

“No way!” said Kris.

“It’s a lot less expensive that way.”

“No! Absolutely not,” Kris said.

“I could upgrade to a suite for the three of us and still save money,” I said. I knew she wouldn’t go for it, but what better way to demonstrate…

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