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I adjusted the showerhead to produce a concentrated spray and positioned myself so that the blast of steaming water hit me right between the eyes. The hot water provided a welcome distraction, but no relief from the pain.

I sat there for perhaps half an hour, with increasingly morbid thoughts racing through my head. When I emerged from the shower, the bathroom was thick with mist and condensation dripped down the walls. I dried off, wrapped myself in a robe and headed for the verandah.

It was a lot like the bathroom out there—foggy and wet, but 30 degrees cooler….

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We walked aft to the dining room entrance and waited for a few minutes for the doors to open. Finally, the crowd surged forward. Inside the entrance I stooped to a hitherto unimaginable act—I stopped and asked directions. I could see the pride on Kris’s face.

A young man in an elaborate uniform topped by a pill box hat took my new table-assignment card and then said something that will forever remain a mystery. When he turned and started walking, we followed—just on a hunch that it was the appropriate thing to do. He led us down the stairs to…

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The sound of the rain on the rooftop was soon drowned out by the sounds of footsteps on gravel. People materialized from the fog in all directions, seeking shelter from the sudden deluge. Kris was wearing a white jacket which caused her to initially appear as a body-less apparition, her face hovering a few feet above disconnected legs.

“Didn’t you go to the top?” Kris asked.

“Yeah—nice view,” I said.

“How come I didn’t see you?”

“Did you see anything or anybody?”

“Not really.”

“I’m sure we walked right past each other,” I said. “Not quite like the last time…

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In less than five minutes, the doors to the bus opened again. I caught a glimpse of a bright green jacket, which went nicely with the red face of Betsy as she boarded the bus accompanied by the guide. No search party was required—she was located waiting in the checkout line in the gift shop, holding some postcards that portrayed scenes presently hidden by fog. Betsy has since assured me that she was fully aware of the departure time and was equipped with a time-telling device, and—she cannot explain the lapse. Such is the power of gift shops to mesmerize…

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We got off the bus and pushed through the stubborn mist until we were out of the way of the other disembarking passengers.

“Well, what do you want to do?” I asked the group.

“Find the ladies room,” said Kris and Pat in unison.

“I don’t think they’ll let me in, so you go on ahead,” I said.

I walked with my mother as Kris and Pat sprinted ahead. To my surprise, my mother was quite familiar with our surroundings. I’ve mentioned that she’d already been nearly everywhere that we would go while on this cruise—not just the individual…

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The pain in my head was absolutely excruciating. As the proud parent of more than two-dozen kidney stones, I thought I knew about pain—but this was a whole new ballgame. I had to get up and move, as though I might shake it off. I ran to the bathroom and took four ibuprofen tablets.

In the mirror, I could see that my left eye was almost completely closed and it was watering profusely. My left nostril burned intensely and my nose was running like a river—but felt severely congested at the same time. I thought screaming might help, but…

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Kris muttered a mild expletive, and I felt myself flush.

“Six-Six-Zero! Are you here?” said the crewmember.

Just barely audible above the din, two voices meekly replied. “Here.”

Kris and I laughed simultaneously. “They don’t sound too sure about it,” I said.

“Well, that’s a…

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I was almost disappointed when I felt the moment of weightlessness indicating that we were going down. As I studied the elevator’s button panel, the meaning of the “UP” display finally dawned on me.

“Do you know what “UP” means,” I asked Kris.

“Is that a metaphysical or a rhetorical…

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On the couch was a shopping bag full of goodies from the APHC people – including CDs, a songbook, a thick book of poetry and some stainless steel mugs. The mugs were decorated with nautical flag symbols:

Twenty-six nautical flags correspond to the letters of the alphabet, although each has a special meaning when flown alone. Taken as individual letters, these flags say APHC.…

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